The Sublime Value Of ‘Ego Deaths’

Lessons of pain known as ‘ego deaths’ are among the most difficult things to accept about life in general. At one point or another everyone has tried (unsuccessfully) to evade the deepest aspect of this experience on their journey of personal development. But in the end, those who are able to go through the mock ‘death’ of a false part of their identity will inevitably testify to the fact that it always brings them to a place of greater peace, contentment, and personal freedom.

Let’s discuss how we can recognize when we are on the brink of an ego death, and use some analogies to walk us through the process of letting go of beliefs about ourselves that no longer serve us and turning personal pain into enlightenment-level knowledge.

Understanding The Pain Of An Ego Death

An ego death is the mental and emotional equivalent of having stomach flu, food poisoning, or gastrointestinal difficulties, where your body suddenly goes into massive amounts of pain, usually followed by a lot of throwing up, your tummy working, heartburn, pain and cramps. There’s a reason this happens: some sort of toxin, poison, bug, virus or other irritant has been identified in the system, and the system goes into overdrive to flush that irritant out.

When we release on the physical level, by going to the loo, sweating, throwing up, we feel weak, tired, sweaty and shaky. We can’t focus on anything else but the physical pain and symptoms that are wracking our body. Similarly, when we have thoughts and emotion that are causing us extreme pain, we have to face and question the thoughts pass through our minds, and the emotions through our hearts that are causing the suffering. We feel weak, tired, sweaty and shaky. We can’t focus on anything else but the psychic pain and symptoms that are wracking us.

As with stomach flu, each time you throw up or your tummy works, it hurts. Your body cramps and tenses, using every tool it has to push that irritation out. But after an intense period, of say 24 to 72 hours, it stops, you’re better, you can start recovering, and go back to your normal life. Just like you have to accept the pain and symptoms of a stomach flu, you have to accept the pain and symptoms of this ‘mental and emotional flu’ you’re experiencing. In other words you have to feel the emotions that are releasing. If you are successful in expelling the belief about yourself that is causing the pain, then it’s like a piece of your identity has died, which is why we call it an ego death.

Examples

An example of this would be losing your job. The part of your identity that may die includes being a ‘provider’ or an ‘employee’. If you’re a parent, it can kills the identity of ‘able to provide for my children’. When you wake up the next day, your identification with ‘having somewhere to go’ and ‘having something to do’ may have also died. Likewise the notion that you are ‘secure for the future’. This is why it feels so bad–because so many aspects get affected at the same time.

In the case of a break up or death, you would lose your relationship to the person; so the identities of lover, friend, family, confidant, and companion are at risk. You go from ‘married’ to single or separated or divorced. Or widowed. You also ‘lose’ the label of spouse. These big changes then cause further smaller changes in you, which further break down your identity.

So, if your partner dies, for example, you would ‘come home alone to an empty house’. The ‘silence’ would be a reminder of the change in your identity. You would now have to learn how to ‘occupy yourself alone in the house’, changing your behaviors. A silly example would be preparing two meals for dinner, or even taking out two plates. Now you’re ‘a person who only takes out one plate, and eats a convenience meal alone’. This could easily see you ‘change’ from ‘someone who eats meals slowly, at a table’, into ‘someone who eats on the run and doesn’t digest properly’.

A Buildup Of Toxins

Ego deaths occur at every stage, continually reinforcing the change and loss that you’ve experienced. Now, think about what happens when something dies. It starts to rot. All these ‘parts’ of you–these actions you took based on who and what you believe you are–are being left behind, and they’re dying inside you. Once they die, they start to fester, becoming a toxin or poison that runs the risk of infiltrating your whole system. So your body triggers a response that forces you to purge those thoughts and emotions. This is what you experience as an ego death.

There’s no way around it – you’ve got to sit with the pain for a few days, because the emotional, mental and psychic pain is the process of your body purging that emotion. And if it’s a huge emotional and mental load, then your body is going to use every single avenue at its disposal to purge that load, including physical manifestations like actual stomach flu, which will put your body into ‘expel’ mode.

You will feel sad, releasing by feeling the emotion. You will feel other emotions as the thoughts linked to that experience pass through your mind on their way out the door. Most notably you’ll experience shame, fear, doubt, humiliation, embarrassment, anger, resistance, as well as inferiority, inadequacy and lack of self worth. You will cry, allowing pain to fall out of your eyes. Your lymph system will work overtime, flushing out all the affected areas of your body. Your bowels, bladder, sweat, period, gas and belching will all be utilized to flush the toxic load out of your system, as quickly as possible. Just like when your body forces you to throw up a poison.

You will experience pain on all levels as the pain passes through your awareness and leaves the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual layers of your system. Ever noticed how you cry and groan when you are physically ill or in pain? Those actions help pain leave your system, whatever the original cause of the pain is. With most ego deaths, you have ride out about a week of intense symptoms. Anything longer than that is the cumulative knock on effect of the other identity changes that have been triggered by the main loss.

The Majority Of The Pain Is Your Resistance

Take both arms and put them straight out in front of you, with your palms facing forward, as if you were using your hands and arms to press something forward. Really put your energy and effort into it, pressing as if you are pressing against an immovable barrier, like a wall. Notice what you’re feeling in your body – the tension and pain that spans your arms, shoulders, neck, and possibly even head, ears and toes as you strain and press against that invisible barrier. Hold that for a just a little bit longer than is really comfortable, pressing hard so that you can feel the strain and pain.

Then drop your arms suddenly.

Notice the relief that’s spreading through your muscles? Notice how the pain has stopped? Did you notice how much pain there was–even though you were actually pressing against nothing? The majority of the pain we feel in any shift experience is caused by our own resistance to what we are shifting–our resistance to accepting that truth about ourselves, facing that shame, or not getting what we want.

The pain of a shift or ego death really will only ever last 24 to 72 hours – all the other pain comes from you RESISTING feeling that pain. When you get good at shifting emotions, they pass in the space of a few seconds. You really just have to be truly consciously aware of the emotion and accept that it exists, and is the truth.

Shifting Your Belief System

Each of these ‘parts’ of you that is changing, and the lessons and realizations that you’re getting, tend to feel like they happen in isolation, because they happen one at a time, or immersively.  To understand the idea of immersive experience, think about a time when you were scared. If someone kept reassuring you, then you never really went into the fear; you kept getting the experience of hope. Now think of a time when you had no hope–how you were scared of everything, because the fear completely surrounded you.

In order to experience something–anything–you have to be immersed in it. You can’t be in boarding school and go home to sleep every night as well; it’s one or the other. In order to ‘have the experience’ of boarding school, you will give up the experience of ‘living at home’.

Emotion is the same. In order to experience doubt or pain or fear or any other negative emotion, you have to be immersed in it. It’s all you will experience for a period of time. The immersive nature of experience however, means that when we’re inside an emotion, it feels like we’ve always been there. As soon as we’re out, we forget the pain of that experience really quickly as well, because now we’re immersed in the positive experience or emotion.

It takes years before people start looking for how the ego deaths are connected, before they start seeing the links that connect a series of ego deaths into the shedding of a complete belief system.

Like Watching A TV Show

When you look an at entire belief system, it’s like watching a TV show. You can see how the setting, characters and story develop over time. You can see the twists and turns that happen, and in order to know or experience the whole story, you have to watch every episode, because one episode can contain crucial information that influences how you see every other episode, or how you view the characters.

In order to be able to discuss that show, you’d have to watch every single episode, so that you have all the details. This includes the episodes you hate, the cliffhangers, the ones where your favorite characters die, even the cringe-worthy parts. And to watch each episode takes time, roughly 42 minutes. This is the time that you have to commit to in order to be able to say that you have watched it.

Belief systems are no different – there are ego deaths that feel like cliffhangers, moments where you don’t know what will happen next, horrible losses that shake you to your very core. However you have to go through every single episode with some awareness in order to see the entire story.

When an emotion or thought passes through your mind, it stays there for a period of time, so that you can ‘view’ it with your awareness. That’s the episode. You have to just sit that time out and not run to distraction, tempting as it may be. If you skip an episode, you won’t know if it was crucial, and you will be missing part of the information. You will not have the entire story.

Each ego death and loss you experience is one episode of your story. You can’t jump ahead or generalize from your limited experience; each episode is unique and valuable and you can never tell from one episode what the entire storyline will be. You have to watch the entire series.

No Pain, No Gain

It’s really hard to see and understand how your personal pain becomes advanced level knowledge – and most people never see it. To understand it, you need to work your way backwards, and ask yourself why this level of teaching would be delivered in this format.

The answer is relevance. If I tell you that a homeless teenager died of a drug overdose last night, then you may be shocked, but you’ll go on with your life. If I walk in and say it was your son or daughter, the game changes completely. It will rip your world apart, and it may be a moment that you never recover from. There’s no difference in the stories. In both cases it’s a homeless teenager who died of an overdose. But now, it’s relevant to you personally.

We care, in an offhand way, about the environment or other people’s struggles. But we only take action when the toxic spill is on our doorstep, or the financial trouble hits us personally. People are inherently self-absorbed by nature, and if none of the lessons were relevant to their immediate happiness, they would never notice the issue.

Take, for example, the fact that South Africa has one of the highest rates of AIDS infection in the world. Doesn’t matter to you at all does it? But if I told you that you have contracted AIDS? Now it starts to matter, hey? Now the struggles of people who don’t have access to that medication become your own struggle. It’s relevant to you, and so now you start focusing on how to fix it.

It’s not hard to imagine that Martin Luther King’s personal experiences as a young black boy inspired him to go on to become a Social Justice Warrior. When trials impact you on a personal level, they become relevant enough for you to take up on a societal level. Now that you understand why lessons happen on the personal level, let’s take a look at how they evolve into enlightenment level knowledge. A series of relationships behind you is something that most people can relate to, so let’s start there.

The Relationship Experience

The first few times relationships end for you, all you really feel is the pain. ‘This person left me’, ‘I am all alone’, and ‘nobody wants me’ are generally the themes for this level of shift. There’s also a fear that this pain will last forever. But by the time you get to the third or fourth heartbreak experience, you’ve felt the pain a few times now, and you know it will end, so your question and direction of focus changes, and you start asking ‘WHY do I feel this pain?’ Answers at this stage can vary greatly, but a common theme here could be ‘I am jealous’ or ‘I am possessive’.

So in the next round of relationships, you happen to notice when you are getting jealous or possessive, and you curtail those behaviors where you can. For a while it works, but then suddenly the issue rears its head again, and you have a broken heart once more because of jealousy. But this time, instead of just feeling pain, you start to unpack the jealousy, and you realize that it really started that day back in your childhood when your mom took away stuff from you and gave it to your sister.

And as you have that thought, and it passes through your conscious mind on its way out of the door, or you ‘drop that mirror’, you suddenly realize that it’s usually when you see your sister, or your mom favors her in some way, that you get triggered into going off the rails in your relationship. This is an active memory that influenced the way you handle this particular aspect of jealousy. We call it ‘dropping a mirror’ because you can no longer see yourself in it. It is a mirror because it shows you a part of yourself.

As that thought of release, or mirror, moves through your conscious awareness, or you view that episode, the pattern no longer has a hold over you, and you find yourself less jealous and possessive in general in life. And you plateau on that good feeling for a while. And then the next relationship comes along. And really this relationship finally seems to be going great for you. What you didn’t bank on was that it was a test from the universe. And so when it explodes again a few months later, and you find yourself feeling jealous and possessive, you begin to look at your feelings of jealousy once more.

Letting Go Of Resistance

What’s worth noting here is that the moment you’ve owned the aspect of yourself once (i.e. jealousy), it’s easy for you to reference that in future shifts. The resistance we feel in admitting to that aspect is taken away completely once we admit to it the first time. It’s the shame that stops us from admitting to it in the first place.

By this token, you can really shortcut your development journey by owning every single characteristic you think of as ‘bad’, by just saying it out loud: I am selfish, I am inferior, Nobody likes me. To boost the strength of this exercise, give an example from your own experience that proves each comment true. Then when you need to access that knowledge in future, you don’t have to waste days and weeks trying to overcome the ‘shame’ of acknowledging that part of you that is present in all the rest of us as well.

So, for example, nobody likes me because I never get invited to social events. Or, I doubt my abilities because I messed up at work. By finding the example you align to the energy more quickly, and it takes away the shame for when you need to see those parts of yourself later on.

Generational Patterns

Back to our analogy: you’re looking at a relationship mess (once again), and you’re confused, because you cleared the stuff about your sister, but the word ‘sister’ triggers an idea for you, and you realize the same pattern plays out between your mom and her sister. Basically you and your sister are treating each other the way your mom and aunt treat one another. We call this a ‘generational pattern’.

You are repeating the same patterns of behavior across the generations, because it has passed down in the bloodline and DNA of the family. So you find a great healer, and you clear this. It could be several generations back on your mom’s side, which is where it originally started, or where the original active memory event happened in the life of the ancestor that burned it into your family heritage.

For a while after that release, things are great; your mom and aunt are getting along, you and your sister are doing great, and you even manage to find a new relationship. But you get involved with the wrong person, someone whose behaviors and words leave you feeling on edge and suspicious. After a few months of feeling constantly tense, you find yourself once again displaying old patterns of jealousy and possessiveness. But this time you know it isn’t something from your past. You’ve cleared that. Also past experience has taught you that going into the pain and drama, and creating a scene, will not help.

So you start to take a careful look at your partner, and over time, maybe you come to discover that your partner is cheating on you. So where before you had lessons showing you how jealousy destroys bonds, now you are discovering how your jealousy actually serves to protect you. Had you not felt suspicious, and noticed the change in your behavior, you would not have found out that you were being played.

Positive Aspects

Again a lesson of jealousy, but this time a lesson of jealousy positively aspected. Now that you have put the negative reasons you show jealousy behind you, this lesson (or mirror) shows you the positive ways that jealousy can actually serve us and keep us safe. The relationship is not worth keeping, and so you end it, and once again you are facing heartbreak because of jealousy. However this time your identity (remember ego deaths?), has changed in much bigger ways. You are no longer a person who just openly trusts. You have become more cautious about the people you choose to go out with.

So it takes you longer to dive back into the world of dating this time, and when you do, you find that you have attracted someone who has also experienced infidelity in the past. The ‘mirror’ or energy that has attracted you towards each other in this case, is your mutual fear of being cheated on again. In the beginning this is great, because you both know that you can trust each other completely, and you feel secure and confident in your life. And this pays off in a big way when you get offered a fantastic new job that you are so excited about.

Turns out though, that this new job is a test too, and as you start working the extra hours required by your new role, you discover jealousy and possessiveness from yet another angle, as your partner now becomes jealous and suspicious of you. In the beginning, you spend time reassuring your partner, because you have massive empathy for his or her situation–it’s what drew you together in the first place after all. But after a while, you start getting tired of the constant demands, made worse by how tired you are keeping pace with your new job and responsibilities.

And so, once again, the inevitable tension caused by jealousy sets into your relationship, and slowly begins to tear it apart. It probably finally ends on a day when you have a thought like, ‘Wow, I can see how my behaviors in the past drove my ex away!’

In the moment of that thought, two things happen: first, you acknowledge that you are being driven away by similar actions and the current relationship is ending, and secondly, you find yourself responsible for ending the past relationship. When that happens, blame shifts from your ex to you, making you wholly or partly to blame. And an additional mirror here is the fact that you have chosen to end both relationships.

Bigger Picture Comes Into View

In the moment that you accept that blame, you ‘understand’ the actions that your ex took, and probably reach a degree of forgiveness and compassion for their choices as well. This is an interesting stage, because it’s the first time you really see that this applies to others beyond just you. So it starts becoming a societal level issue. Now, in future, when you notice jealousy and possessiveness, you no longer only see it in relation to yourself, but you see it in others as well. You see it playing out in their lives, and impacting and evolving their relationships, changing how they deal with people.

Because there are so many more people than you on the planet, you actually now have a hundredfold more examples of this energy, or ‘mirror’, playing out around you, and so you begin to learn about the energy more quickly. Since you have been on many sides of the coin, you find yourself able to easily understand others’ points of view in the situation, being able to step into their shoes because you were there once yourself.

So where, at the beginning of your journey, you may have counseled someone to ‘be jealous if they want to, because you can’t love someone and not be jealous,’ you now find yourself advising a jealous person to curtail their behavior, because their actions of jealousy will do damage to the relationship bond. What often slips your notice at this point is the fact that you now understand that jealousy is the same for all of us; we take similar actions when we’re jealous, and those actions lead to similar types of results. In other words, by this stage of development, you start realizing that this wasn’t just happening to you alone – it’s a common experience.

So, the next time you experience jealousy, in yourself, or in others, your mind starts wandering to questions like ‘what creates jealousy in all of us?’ This leads you down many rabbit holes of information. For a while, for example, you may notice the similarities in events that trigger jealousy. Or you may stumble onto a piece of information like ‘karma’, the idea that actions that you took in past lives are playing out now in order to redress the imbalance. Once you stumble onto something like karma, you are required to understand that experience moves in energies.

Seeing It As Energy

So now, when you stumble across jealousy again, you think of it as an energy, and you begin to study the energy of the experience. What moves through us, how does it move us, what are the pros and cons, how can it be utilized? The moment you reach this juncture, it’s a short hop to understanding that all these life elements we face are just energies, and so you retrospectively begin to apply that knowledge to the rest of your life, looking at other energies and how they have impacted you.

At each layer of growth, you take your personal experience and apply the compassion and understanding gained from that previous experience, onto understanding the similar situation that now presents itself. This ability to take an idea and apply it to understanding another idea, is known as extrapolation.

Over the years, you’ve gained knowledge about jealousy as you’ve been looking at all these different angles and views of it, and as you’ve played different roles in the circumstances jealousy creates: you’ve been the good guy, the bad guy, and even gone from the good guy to the bad guy with a single thought as you understood your ex’s point of view and how you drove them away. And this has given you a very well-rounded view of the aspect of jealousy.

You’ve noticed it in others, how it impacts their lives, and you’ve shown both compassion and irritation for it. You’ve seen jealousy itself as being both good and bad. Importantly, though, you understand that it is inherent in all of us, and we all have similar experiences with it. This always leads to the question of ‘where do these inherent traits we have stem from?’ ’What is it that connects us all?’ ‘Why do we have such similar experiences?’

Seeking The Source

Once you start heading down that road, it always leads to answers about what connects us all, what we share and have in common. And when you’re speaking about a big, all-knowing, all-pervasive energy that unites us all, you are in the realms of Source, Higher Powers and God. Even here, you will find answers from your personal pain, asking questions of yourself like ‘is God jealous?’ Or perhaps finding where in cosmic history jealousy stems from. The energy only reared its head in your life to make it relevant to you so that you discover the next layer or angle of information.

It doesn’t matter where you start, or how personal your info is, eventually the knowledge that you draw from those personal experiences will be higher, because you will looking at different parts of the aspect. There will only be a certain number of aspects you really look at in depth across your life, because once you see the pattern that they are all aspects, you will extrapolate the knowledge of how to deal with any kind of aspect in the same way.

And the areas that you get repeated exposure to become your areas of specialty. So if you had a narcissistic parent, it’s because you wanted to understand narcissism in all its forms. And you will have understood it when you can see the narcissism in yourself and own it. These areas of specialty are how our journeys are unique even though we all learn the same stuff. You will get a comprehensive look at a few areas that will become your focus later on in your journey The fact that these energies have been so present in your life, means that you will have viewed so many other aspects through a lens of that energy.

Different Paths

For example, someone who started an aspect of faith at a young age, would see most of their journey as happening with God. They would view each experience they approached through a filter of the primary faith aspect. So someone on a journey of faith would experience an ego death of jealousy as growing or decreasing their faith. An atheist on the other hand may come via the karmic or ego journey path of experiencing the emotions, only coming to acknowledge a Higher Power much later on. So they would see how these aspects can be experienced without the lens of faith. Their experience of jealousy would be on a very personal level and human in nature.

Someone who came via a path of healing, conversely, would always be asking the question ‘how do I heal this?’ This turns challenges into opportunities to develop the ability to heal the self and others, creating a nature that sees everything as having the potential to heal or be healed. Someone who is very focused on celebrity will always be wondering how this brings them to the world’s attention, while a money-focused person will always be asking how they can turn this experience into a business venture. This is the serial entrepreneur who is ‘inspired by their life’.

Someone who experienced a lot of loss early on, would view every experience wondering how this could detract from what they have, and how they would and could lose; someone who is used to winning will look at how they can emerge on top. The person who sees the losses is a fantastic risk analyst, while the winner makes for an inspiring leader. The leader can only be great with the help of specialist advisors like the risk analyst, who can see things that leader may not even think to look for.

Same Lessons, Different Contexts

The order in which you learn information, and the lens thorough which you view those lessons, will determine the unique nature of your journey and experience. But the idea that the lessons and the journey are different for everyone is silly. That would be like creating a different degree for every single engineer who entered university. The point of a degree is that there is commonality, and shared knowledge, where people are able to help each other and collaborate by having a shared understanding of certain concepts. The lessons are the same for us all, otherwise we would never be able to help each other or progress forward.

We all feel the pain first, and then start looking into our pasts to discover active memories, generational patterns, karma and more. We then find compassion and forgiveness by being in the other person’s role, and then we start looking at a wider view, taking into account the social and societal impacts of aspects on all of humanity. Through that we come to know what connects us all. The key is to not judge your lessons, and to just experience them.

If you are stuck at a place, it’s because you’re meant to be. In essence you chose to be. You chose these circumstances in order to learn the ‘all’ of that particular aspect. And it keeps reappearing in your life because there is something there that fascinates you, something you want to learn. It’s telling you to get curious and find out what all those somethings are!

In order to know everything about something, you will have to immersively experience it from all the different angles. You will have to unpack all the layers, seeing it from every viewpoint, and living in each experience for a period of time. This is how you will come to know everything about something. It doesn’t matter what your lessons are, or how personal they seem, or how silly the answers and statements seem. Trust the process and you will find your way. It’s guaranteed.

5 Ways The Money System Keeps You Trapped

Money as survival, living off grid and a money free world are terms that are being bandied around more and more as people become aware of the systemic trap we’ve all been indoctrinated into.

When you look at the patterns of how the money-as-survival system plays out, you realize its efficacy lies in how thoroughly it hamstrings you from every angle.

Today we’re going to briefly unpack five of the ways that the money system manages to keep you trapped, even though you may be making moves towards trying to get out of it.

1. A short cycle of 1-month

Time is a very artificial construct, once you get into it.

The only real measure of time we have is a day, and we mark that because we see the sun rise and set. It’s the contrast of the light and darkness that so effectively delineates the measure of time in a day.

There’s no such obvious marker however for weeks and months. Some would argue that you could use the moon and seasonal cycles, but those would vary according to where you are in the world, and if that’s true, then June in the Northern Hemisphere would have to become December in the Southern Hemisphere.

The purpose of that sidetrack is to lay the background for the idea that month-end is an artificially generated construct.

Nothing actually happens if you don’t pay by a specific date – well nothing of cosmic significance anyway. There are no cases of people getting struck by lightning for skipping bill payments… *smiles*

The biggest problem with this artificial cycle that concludes in month end, is that it is really a short cycle.

You quickly fall into the trap of living month-to-month, hand-to-mouth, with the idea that you’ll make it through the end of this month and then start the long-term stuff next month.

But next month never comes, does it?

You just get stuck in this loop of generating just enough money to make it to month-end, so that you can breathe for a day or two, and feel a bit rested before you launch into something bigger that could yield long-term results.

You get focused on completing shorter projects so that you can meet your immediate expenses, because if you don’t meet those then long term doesn’t really matter.

2. You don’t get enough time or rest

And you make it to next month, but when you get there, you’re still tired… and it always seems to be very close to when you have to make sure you can cover the next set of bills that is due.

You decide to rush through a few projects to make time for the long-term project that will yield results, or you spend time on the longer term project first…. either way, when it comes to balancing the other end of the scale, later on, you’re tired, and already starting to feel burnt out, as well as the looming pressure of month end.

And if you can just make it through month end, well then, next month maybe you’ll get time to sort this all out properly?

But you don’t get the time – and you don’t get the time to rest either. You’re running on empty, exhausted, and firing on maybe 40 to 80% of your cylinders… if you’re lucky.

So, even if you do find time to work on “the big thing”, you’re only doing it with half a brain.

The rest of your brain is wrapped in worrying about what you have to get done, how much money you have to generate, and what you can do to get there; so much so, in fact, that you are never truly present when you’re working – or when you’re resting.

It’s that constant inner voice chatter that becomes your worst enemy when you try to rest as well: yes, you take the time and rest your physical body, but your mind just keeps spinning and spinning and spinning, like a broken record.

And because you’re never firing on all cylinders, you never quite reach that great idea that could actually maybe pull you out of this mess.

Or you get the idea and you miss it, or just plain don’t have the energy to actually do anything about realizing it.

3. Constant low-grade stress

All of that inner voice chatter is a constant low-grade buzz – a stressor that eats away at the back of your mind, wearing you down and draining you over the long term.

You get even more tired and feel less inclined to find the time and energy to make that “big thing” happen.

You start feeling powerless to do anything in fact – but that’s okay: you’re usually too tired to notice.

This all-pervading tiredness further reinforces the pattern of “doing enough for month end so that I can rest before the next big surge.”

Over time, “enough to get by” is all you eventually seem to do.

4. Shame and failure

Hopelessness never comes alone: it travels with its friends, shame and failure.

The more and more we feel like we’re failing, the more we keep that information private, to ourselves.

When you do ego mitigation work, one of the powerful realizations you’ll come to is that anything only ever has power over you when you keep it private. You never fear something that is already known – this is why we hide things about ourselves.

Read more on ego mitigation here.

Out of shame, people stay private about their money issues: not just you, but also the people around you.

As a result, when we benchmark against others in our minds, we are really benchmarking against our imagination – and our imaginations love to paint a grass-is-greener scenario when we do that.

So on top of the hopelessness and powerlessness that we are already feeling, every time we think about how others are doing, we see ourselves as failures by comparison.

If you repeatedly tell yourself that you are a failure, thousands of times every month, you will eventually feel like a failure. When that happens, you will approach every situation expecting to fail.

When you’re convinced that something is doomed to fail from the start, well why should you even bother putting any effort into it?

5. Bad Habits

If you do anything repeatedly, it will become normal to you, and a habit. This is what we mean by something becoming “subconscious”.

Once you’re stuck in that cycle of “making it to month end,” and you’ve allowed it to become entrenched for a few months, you establish all these patterns as your default habits, your default reactions and behaviours.

From the moment you step onto that “getting by” carousel, it’s almost impossible to step off, and the entire system just repeatedly drags you further and further down, until you just give up hope of ever getting it right.

The question that really stands out for me with the money situation and the 99% is this: the 99% means that the system is guaranteed to fail 99% of those who participate.

Why do we still accept this as the only way to live? Why do we accept a way of life that guarantees that so many of us will become depressed and fail?

5 Symptoms Of Current Planetary Energies You May Be Experiencing

Global Energy Check In – 26 June 2018 – covering global energies that are impacting most people

The global check-in covers the common shifting patterns and themes that basically everyone is experiencing.

1. Feelings Of Inadequacy, Lack Of Self-Worth – External Validation

Lots and lots of doubt going around… what value do I add? Why isn’t anything moving for me? What am I doing wrong? Thoughts around I am not good enough and will never get there – I’ll never be good enough.

This is a common ego trap of external validation and it will rear its head repeatedly on your journey, commonly around the theme of “how can I be of value if people don’t like me and don’t approve of me?”

An easy fix for this is to go watch a reality show and remember who these people are out there that don’t approve of you – how they think, what their lives are, how shallow they are.

We all get lonely and isolated and want to reach out, so we assume we must be the problem, and then get disappointed when we get out there and find that there’s no one we can, or want to, connect with.

You can go fast or you can go with people — if you go with people you will always go at the same pace as the slowest person.

Every time you grow you move faster and further forward — making the chasm much greater between you and them. They feel inferior around you and stupid because you open your mouth and say something smart and it forces them to learn and change.

Most of us have the complaint that we can never say what we want because people get caught up on background facts, but to them, the old news is brand new information. From the first piece of background we give, we are forcing them to learn and change. People hate those two things.

People want to feel smart and we have a tendency to make them feel stupid – that’s why they mostly don’t like us.

It’s never going to change, and the better you get at handling it, the bigger the load you’ll get to handle.

Watch a reality show. Remember who you’re dealing with.

2. Wanting To Leave Or Not To Be Here

You’re moving closer to God, even if God is still a swear word on your journey. And even though it doesn’t feel like it, your ego death is moving you closer to that goal.

When you get closer to the thing you really want, have you noticed how your hunger increases? Like when you’re bursting to go to the loo and you’re fumbling the keys in the lock because you’re so close to the toilet now?

That’s exactly why these growth periods can trigger suicidal thoughts, or thoughts of wanting to leave, not be here, be done, and go – you’re so close to God that you just want to cross the finish line now.

It will pass – every energy has always passed. Nothing lasts forever, and this won’t either.

Read more on this here.

3. Money, Worries & Anxiety

I’d love to assume that I can just leave this one as standard and not have to type it out each time, but well, we need reminders.

Everyone is going through money problems, even if they aren’t owning it. Unfortunately, they won’t – it’s the shame that makes money issues a thing in the first place.

The money thing is one of the fastest ways to create the global change we are after — but that means that basically everyone on earth has to be in the issue before we all start acting on it. That includes you and me.

The balance of figuring out how to survive in a world where money is survival while building a money-free world is extreme. It’s unbelievably hard. But that’s the job.

We love to talk about the lightworker mission – this is a big part of it. Figuring out a way to do the stuff that seems impossible to achieve.

It is entirely natural for us spiritual types to have an inherent conflict with money – here’s more on the topic.

Here’s a four-part article and video series on the money issue, speaking about practical ways to deal, steps you can take, ways to simplify and dealing with your ego and emotional responses.

4. Exhaustion & Fatigue

I was giggling as I spoke about this to a client this morning… remember a few weeks back when we were all moaning that we were getting no sleep? Well, now we’re getting all of it!

Partly this has been a rest period because we’re just into the main shifting period of the year – from now until end September.

So for the next few months, we’ll be complaining that it’s too much – and then October we’ll be saying we’re bored.

The periods always end – nothing goes on forever. Be grateful that at least you have some idea what is going on.

Here are daily maintenance resources that will help alleviate some of the physical symptoms you’re feeling.

A few daily basics can go a long way towards helping your entire system cope. Butterfly release is a must-have!

If you need distance energy healing or clearing work done, shout. We have healers that can help you at distance.

5. Focus, clarity and practical functionality

Productivity and getting stuff done… wow, we’ve all been badly procrastinating the past while.

I had this thought one day, how cool would a world be where we can say “bugger it – the global energy is too bad, we’re declaring a worldwide rest period!” #goals

This is one of the places where we really see the failure of the money as survival system – the money pressure doesn’t allow for any other aspects of life.

This isn’t just happening to us, though — this is a global lesson playing out in our personal lives – it shows us what so many other people are experiencing. That’s what we’re here to fix – what everyone has to live in.

The only way that it becomes relevant to you is if you are living through it, so it gets drawn to us to make it an issue we’ll look at and spend time thinking about. We’re meant to NOT personalize it and to recall that this is global and we’re here to fix the global problems (lightworker mission is a job in other words – a frigging hard job!).

At the same time you are less and less “human” — so these periods where you experience overwhelming human experiences in your body actually seem harder for you than what you’re used to. It’s the contrast between the two experiences that makes it so rough.

One thing that helps me enormously in these periods is if I keep planning and working, without jumping into projects.

Previously, I would allow the restless days to spur me into immediate action and then I’d land up with half-finished projects. Now I step back and plan – play it out in my head, do too much research. The results are really great though and the practice helps to build patience enormously.

Find other ways to approach your work, schedule meetings, brainstorm, do the social connections stuff – that seems to be easier at the moment.

Here is a list of resources to help you find practical functionality for the days you HAVE TO focus and get stuff done.

When You’re Feeling Like Crap, Don’t Personalize It!

We all go through moments of feeling down, when you’re in it, try not to personalize it.

When you personalize you grab onto the pain and linger on it; you keep mulling the thought over and over in your head.

When you’re going through hell, keep going.

You can’t make the distance shorter but you can move through it faster. So push to get to the worst feeling as quick as possible – the relief lies beyond that.

The down periods will never go away; you need to let go of that idea. You just get better at managing it all.

You have to get better at managing it: you get a bigger empath load as you progress to a higher vibration.

This is why the lows are still so low even though you’ve shifted so much and grown so much; you’re pulling bigger volumes of energy to shift from the morphic field.

The reason it feels like you’re rehashing the same stuff? They send you loads of whatever energies you’re already good at shifting… so the stuff you’ve already previously let go of and shifted.

That’s the stuff that should be easy for you to shift because you’ve faced the personalized layer where the examples cause you pain.

What do I mean?

If you hear about someone cheating, you listen with interest maybe. But if you think of yourself in their shoes (personalize), or draw on your own past painful example, then you immediately feel the fear and pain.

Try it… let’s say someone was cold last night, maybe they froze to death. You feel some empathy sure.

But if I say it’s YOUR child that froze to death…? Even the words shocked you.

You may give a passing thought to the cold homeless people, but if your child was lost outside on a freezing night, you’d get no sleep. You wouldn’t be able to think about anything else in fact.

It’s only EMOTIONALLY relevant to you when you attach a personal example or story and attach it to the people in your life.

If you want to break this cycle permanently, you need to train yourself to find higher level lessons in your shifts – when you find the higher lesson, the need for the lower lessons fall away.

So an example is realising you’re not accepted by people unless you behave the way they want you to and give them what they want.

On a personal level, this hurts, because it’s a reminder of your loneliness, isolation, lack of worth etc. It’s a reminder that people don’t want what you have to offer as you; they really only use you for what they can get. Stings hey?

However cycle that up to a god level lesson (how God views man), and it becomes the pattern of how people treat gods. They only turn to the gods when they need something or want something, using God like a servant, to fetch and carry.

Basically, this is the way everyone treats divine beings by default – and this behavior is just a standard human behavior.

If it’s just normal behavior, then it’s not being done to you, it’s just happening around you.

You have a choice about how you look at any lesson, and where you choose to focus.

So for today try to cycle your lessons up… see if you can spot how man treats god through the view of ego, or how god views man without any ego or attachment to physical life.

In the mirrors tools, mirrors 6, 7, 8 & 9 deal with soul, balance, dark and cosmos. Those are all higher vibration lessons. Free mirrors tools at: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/newmirrors/

Look for recursions from the creation story ( http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/the-creation-unification-story-for-lightworkers ) or play the game of trying to guess who else around you has similar – or worse – challenges to face.

Remind yourself of what you have, right now. Are your needs taken care of right now? Do you have a roof over your head? Food? Clothes? Yes? Then all is good.

And even if the answer is no, find something to be grateful for and hold onto that.

No shift ever lasts forever…

No matter how crap you’ve felt in the past, it’s always turned.

In fact, that’s exactly why you’re looking for a way out… you know it’s possible to feel different.

This will pass – all you have to do is survive a few days of feeling crappy, and remember not to turn into a serial killer. This is why it’s us… they can send us this level of pain and we stay good people. We don’t become serial killers or perpetuate pain.

So just ask for help to accept what you’re shifting and surrender to the process. Call on your guides and angels for help.

Here are a few different options for surrender processes: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/surrender-acceptance-letting-go

What it looks like in practice

Even at my level, these periods still hit me. The difference now is how I handle them.

I stay patient and accept it will pass.

I look for global energies and patterns in those around me.

I don’t personalize or linger and if anything is stuck in my inner voice I mirror it out straight away.

I ask for help all the time.

I don’t rush in and start anything – I force myself to plan first so that I’m sure of the idea and I don’t waste time creating something half-baked or that I won’t use, or that I feel guilty about.

The only thing that’s changed is how I behave inside a shift.

Yes shifting shifts the energies, but you have to learn tools and change your habits and behaviors as well.

At the end you’re going to realise that the key is the moment you took control… you may as well take control now and prevent yourself all this unnecessary pain and suffering.

Sometimes circumstances suck… but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer.

You always have a choice about that.

Hang in there. This period has to be over soon…. they’re never longer than two or three weeks.

If you’re already stuck on something, the fastest way out is to push through and find your way to the bottom of the ego death – http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

Tips On How You Can Face Your ‘Dark’ Side, Get Through Your Pain & Find Your Inner Peace

I need to feel better BEFORE I carry on doing the work… this is a lie!

“I’m feeling overwhelmed – I’ll do the work when I’m settled.”

“It’s all too much for me – I need to take a break.”

If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard this, I’d be a wealthy woman.

The saddest part? This is EXACTLY why your spiritual journey keeps stalling.

When it gets crazy hectic it’s NOT a sign to slow down – it’s sign for you to speed up, because the shift is at its peak, and the stuff is ready to release.

The exhaustion, anger, emotion, fatigue? That’s the shift itself… and when you reach the right statements, you will find the relief from what you are feeling in that moment.

When you stop and take a break until you feel better, you just ensure that you have to go through all of that again and dredge up and relive all that emotion again.

When things get hectic is when you knuckle down deeper into your shift… so yes, take the day off, but spend it shifting instead of vegging.

In the beginning, it will be hell to try to force yourself to move forward when you feel that bad, so you probably need to contact a healer to help you.

Good healers will be able to do distance healing work on you if necessary, to help you reconcile and release stuff. However, you want to get to a point of coaching and mentoring style work as quickly as possible.

The way that coaching and mentoring style work differs is that it happens on the conscious level, so when you take that approach, you learn from the coach or mentor how to do this for yourself – it becomes a conscious skill you can call on at a later stage. You’ll need that, because this is never the last time you’ll spend in this place.

We spend our whole journeys trying to avoid pain and trying to gain immediate personal happiness, and then when it gets to the kitchen sink work of the spiritual journey – like feeling the stuff that lies inside us – we fall over because we have no skills or stamina to manage it.

At its core, regardless of the modalities you apply, journey, healing and development work is about bringing stuff to consciousness – which means processing it with our conscious minds. The part of us that is awake that we think of as “me”.

So with insights you understand this… you’re fumbling around in the dark and suddenly you get an “aha” moment or insight that comes to your conscious mind and you feel the release. Usually accompanied by a “duh – how was I that daft previously?”

Do you see the pattern above about how it’s when the thought becomes conscious that you get relief? Okay good.

Now – understand that your emotions and thoughts work in exactly the same way.

When You Bottle Up Emotion…

So when you bottle an emotion up, or ignore it, or let it play out or settle, what you are doing is keeping it at the subconscious level. When it’s subconscious it can hurt and unsettle you… just think about the chaos a few seconds before you have the conscious thought?

That moment before the “duh”…. it was chaos that led you to seek an answer or insight in the first place.

It’s the same chaos that you’re experiencing in these emotions and thoughts, and the physical state you’re in, at the moment you need to “rest” before you come back and face this again.

So, it stands to reason that you release that emotional, mental and physical state in the same way: by bringing the awareness to consciousness.

Why does it feel so bad when you’re doing it? First because you spend so much time avoiding doing it that you have no stamina to do it, and secondly because it is made up of a bunch of insights or aha moments, all of which have to be brought to awareness.

The reason you’re feeling like hell in that moment is because you have raised those feelings and thoughts up from the level of the subconscious to the level of the conscious – and you are consciously aware of and feeling them, on the conscious level now.

In the same way the moment of insight, or aha, had to come to your conscious mind and be consciously experienced by you for a second, is the same way that you release that built up emotion. So you have to feel the anger or pain or sadness or doubt consciously, with your active mind.

You have to sit with and feel that emotion for a bit while you shift it – and it only feels so strong because it is so close to the surface. If you take a break, all you’ll do is push that back down into the subconscious layers and you’ll have to repeat the work of digging it all up again.

That also means you’d have to feel all this bad stuff you’re feeling in the moment you “need a break” from, plus more, later on.

You may as well push ahead, bring this to consciousness once, and never have to deal with it again.

What we do is hard… don’t kid yourself. I have been rock bottom and suicidal more times than I can count.

I’ve learned two things though… when I stop personalizing the journey, the terrible pain subsides almost completely. And when you’re going through hell – keep going.

When you’re in this horrible physical, emotional and mental state, it’s easy to want to crawl under the covers and avoid…. and that’s how ego traps you and keeps you stuck.

Facing your shadow (the pain and ego that lives inside you – pain, anger, judgement, fear, humiliation, doubt, shame, embarrassment, envy, jealousy, possessiveness, competitiveness, frustration, impatience, awe and admiration) is not something that is understood in the spiritual communities, but it’s exactly about this: bringing your pain to the surface and airing it consciously so that it has no power over you anymore.

Every single journeyer HAS TO face their shadow and their pain…. “free will does not mean that you get to choose the curriculum and define the content, it merely means you get to decide WHEN you take the course.” (A Course In Miracles)

You will not progress past a certain level until you master shadow work and learn to face and sit with your pain – so you might as well start early and get really good at this process.

Right now it feels like hell to agree to that, but down the line, you will be very glad you did do this – especially once you’ve experienced your first few down and out cycles – where you cycle to the lowest point of an emotion to shift it.

Those ego deaths of the down and out cycles contain so much relief in them, and they truly are the meat of your journey.

And it’s easy to think that facing this will mean confining yourself to a life of psychic pain, but the opposite is actually true: you will have a way to release pain almost immediately, so that it cannot linger and cause long-term problems for you.

When stuff gets hectic, push harder. Take the break AFTER you have found the statement of relief, when you’re in a better space and can ENJOY the time off, and really rest.

All the big breakthroughs you are looking for lie in facing these shadow aspects of yourself… don’t waste your journey and what you’ve achieved so far by avoiding the hard work.

As someone who did the work I can only say that I wish I had started sooner instead of allowing myself to linger in that horrible personal pain for so many years. I could have saved myself so much trauma.

All you achieve by taking a break at these junctures is to ensure that you sit with the pain you’ve raised, lingering and dwelling on it, before it goes back down and can come up for a second round.

The process of taking breaks is actually what is making so many journeys so painful.

Push through and go as deep into the pain as you possibly can – it goes against every instinct you have, I know; it did for me too.

But you have nothing to lose by trying this – except for that horrible pain that lives inside you.

Article on how to do shadow work and cycle down to the bottom of a lesson: http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/how-to-do-shadow-work-how-to-face-your-dark-shadow-or-ego

She Was Smothered With Suicidal Thoughts & Depression – Here’s How She Found Happiness

Why are you unhappy and depressed?

I remember, as a young adult, hearing this term of “stress” for the first time… and not really knowing what it was.

Like our current trends of instant gratification and FOMO, stress was the hot trending topic.

I even remember watching a local news show documentary where this “new concept” of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was introduced.

Nowadays we need “trigger word warnings” on articles in order to not to trigger people’s PTSD.

No one could really explain stress at the time, and I remember that making an impression on me.

Fast-forward 20 years later and now everyone knows what stress is, along with depression and suicide – with some estimates stating that as many as 13% of the US population are on anti-depressants. Read more at http://time.com/4900248/antidepressants-depression-more-common/

My How The World Has Changed

As a former chronic sufferer of depression and suicide, along with epilepsy, which also causes mood fluctuations, I had also bought into the idea that these were medical issues, and that science had to have the answers.

This was chronic, inherent to my system, and I would always need help for it. A disease in other words.

And so I became addicted to believing I needed doctors and medicines to manage my disease.

But it never seemed to help.

I couldn’t break out of the cycle of depression… I’d get okay for a little while and then go crashing down again.

And so I really started investigating alternative routes, alternative healing, and while I got some relief, it wouldn’t last.

And so I got serious about sorting out my life through my spiritual journey, and I learned a lot along the way about what was making me depressed.

A few years later, I’m now in a place where stuff like that – and most illness in fact – can’t touch me. It certainly would not shake my peace of mind.

The good news? It’s possible for you to get there too.

The bad news? It’s going to require you to look at every single aspect of your life – and accepting that it’s the life you’re choosing that is making you depressed.

You were born into this world, and while you have been offered the illusion of choice, the range of options available to you are limited by the accepted rules of the society in which we operate.

So, in plain english, there are things you think are ‘normal’, ‘everyday’ and ‘acceptable’, just because you grew up with them around you.

If you grew up in a mainstream Western culture, then monogamy is your norm. But if you’d grown up as a devout Muslim, or as a Mormon, having sister wives and polygyny would be your norm too.

One of the most disturbing recent examples I found was the Hampstead Kids Pizzagate interviews… these kids have been raised with Satanic and pedophilic practices by their father, and when you listen to them, they speak of being raped repeatedly by adults and drinking blood as if it were the most normal thing to do.

So many of the aspects of your life are driven by what you grew up thinking was normal – this is why you see cycles of patterns passed down along family lines: abusers breed abusers, alcoholics breed alcoholics, and the devout breed the devout.

So what are the areas, that you think of as normal, that are actually causing challenges for you?

Relationships of obligation

Relationships of obligation are the relationships you are born into.

These are relationships where the person has a title that denotes the expectation of the relationship, e.g. a mother should care for and love her children and want the best for them.

The moment you think mother, you have all these ideas of what a mom should be, should do, how she should act.

There are tons of these titles in our lives: parents, cousins, siblings, grandparents; and we add a couple along the way, in friend, lover/partner and child. Eventually also boss and employer.

What they all have in common is that there is expectation built into them – expectations of behavior, actions, words, etc.

This expectation comes from both sides, and in many cases the relationship devolves into nothing more than meeting the minimum requirements of the expectation, in order to maintain the relationship.

So you do the minimum you have to do in order to keep the relationship going, e.g. We HAVE TO go see my parents this weekend. It’s been so many weeks since we last saw them, or We HAVE TO go to my parents/siblings for Christmas this year, or I MUST call my sister.

This turns the relationship into a chore. And a chore is just another task you add to your to do list – the one that’s already putting so much pressure on you.

Relationships of proximity

Many of our relationships of obligation actually form because they are relationships of proximity – we are around the person and so get to know them, forming a bond because of the shared time and experience we have passed together.

School and work are great examples of this… you know everyone there, and CHOOSE your friends… but you are limited to the people who are available to choose from, the people sharing the same space as you regularly.

This turns the relationship selection into an interview style… you pick the ‘best candidate for the job’ out of what is available to you to choose from.

So again, you don’t quite land up with the relationship you want – and so you’re not completely committed to it.

Fitting in and editing

In essence, what this means is that majority of the relationships you have in your life are not relationships you would have chosen, and are not really with people you honestly relate to. And most of them feel like a chore.

But we do it anyway, because life is all about people.

And by that I mean, you need people to like you in order to ensure you can stay alive.

People need to open doors for you, take a chance on you, and you need a network around you because everything in the world is people – even sales for your business.

So you edit yourself to fit in – basically ALL THE TIME.

You’re never yourself completely, because the way to ensure survival is likability (read more at http://lifecoachestoolbox.com/index.php/what-is-the-system ).

So you shave off parts of yourself to be likable, to fit into the “good enough” relationships of obligation and proximity around you, to ensure you don’t become an outcast.

External Validation

When you bring it all down to a nutshell, it’s about external validation – we’re looking for society and those around us to deem us “good enough” to be trusted in a relationship, with children, with a job.

The problem here is that external validation needs to be constantly coming at you in order for this strategy to work – so the moment you hit a rough patch, and that person no longer approves of you being around, and so does not validate your worth by engaging in a relationship with you, then you feel a failure.

Ditto on “I can’t find a job” – no company will externally validate my worth. This is where the pressure of interviews comes from – you want the external validation of acceptance.

Ditto on “I can’t find a relationship.” And even on “I can’t have a child” – I have not been found worthy enough by my own body to have this relationship I desire with a child. My body does not validate me as a mother and so society does not accept me.

So without even realizing it, you start training yourself to make sure you stay acceptable to everyone… but when you’re taking everyone’s needs into account, there’s only a small place of overlap.

And so you land up living in that overlap zone, doing the few baseline things that nobody can get offended at.

No wonder you feel stifled, stuck and trapped. And it’s even littler wonder that you have communication issues in your relationships.

Medicine and health

Often, instead of getting introspective and starting to look at the aspects of our lives that are causing us unhappiness, we turn to medicine.

Because depression is a disease.

There are two ways the medicine impacts you – and the first is that it makes you reliant on the medication. It becomes a crutch.

Most importantly it becomes a crutch because each medicine you take lands up creating symptoms that you need another medication to solve. And many of the medications are designed to make you physically reliant on them, so addiction genuinely occurs.

Or at least violent symptoms occur in your body, when you try to to STOP taking the medicine. See how that works?

The second addiction and problem that forms, is addiction to medical advice – as you participate more and more in medicine, you buy further into the idea that you HAVE TO listen to what your doctor says, despite what you feel or think inside of you.

Accept this idea for long enough, and you are going to believe that you are powerless to change your circumstance, and that what you are experiencing is beyond your control.

So you see your doctor for fifteen minutes every few weeks or months, get a medication and brief advice, and then you’re on your own again.

Come 3 AM, when you really need the hands on help and advice, the doctor is not around – and you feel powerless and incompetent to make any decisions for yourself.

When people feel powerless, hopeless and incompetent is when they are most likely to throw in the towel, and want to commit suicide.

You don’t know how to rest

Among the many things that our strange society has left us unequipped to do, resting is the most bizarre.

We are a culture that craves entertainment and the things of holidays and weekends – it’s all supposed to be about our rest time.

In fact, we live in one of the most advanced societies on earth, and living conditions around the globe are pretty much better than they’ve ever been in world history – and yet we have such a high percentage of the population on medication for depression.

We aren’t taught how to rest.

You take time off, but you don’t stop thinking about the things of your life… your bills, your obligations, the expectations placed on you.

We fill our lives with distractions and ways of keeping ourselves busy, but we are never taught the skills required to actually manage our thoughts.

And so you often get back to work even more tired than when you left, because at least work is a meditative state that allows your body to rest.

This is why you feel better at the start of a weekend too probably, lol ?

Entertainment is a distraction

Speaking of distraction, the things you think of as entertainment are designed to distract you – not entertain you.

So while you’re engaging in that game, at the casino, at the movies or whatever, your mind is full and busy, and you feel completely immersed in the experience.

But immediately afterwards, as you step out of the place, and are left with your own thoughts again, the boredom and silence of your mind sets in, or your inner voice starts to run rampant again.

In that moment of contrast, you feel empty, and so your system looks for the most recent experience where you did not feel empty – and you crave another dose of your distraction fix.

You’re only going to sort out the stuff inside you by going into those quiet spaces in your mind, and hearing your inner voice. And each time you resist hearing it – by filling your mind with distraction – it only becomes harder for you to face it at all.

Eventually, in your rush to get away from all that pain inside you, you start turning to deeper forms of distraction – ones that occupy you for hours. Think drugs, triathlons, excessive exercise and yoga, obsessive dieting or workaholics.

Each time you go out and participate you get more addicted to the distraction, and more dependent on it – until the cost of maintaining it becomes an additional pressure to deal with.

The content you’re consuming TELLS YOU you’re depressed

I’m a content producer and I’ve been that for years, and so I’ve gotten to see what content people use and what they engage with – and I haven’t been surprised to see how much people love these little online tests and gadgets.

They also love click bait style, sound bite filled articles that leave little real time to go into any depth at all.

Thirdly you have the rise of personal growth and self help stuff, alongside the LGBTQ movements, female empowerment and the suicide and depression league out there spreading content.

Each of these aspects on their own is not a killer in itself, but combined they are a lethal weapon, and what they’ve resulted in is engineered articles and tools that are designed to convince you that you need help.

In order to understand that, you need to know that almost all of the tools and pieces you see out there are some sort of PR thing… designed to bring in or retain customers and readers.

So they play to your worst fears in the hope that you will click through. They pick symptoms designed to be a common baseline experience, because that way MORE PEOPLE will relate to their articles or use their tool.

The point of the article or piece is usually to keep you engaged with the platform, and then to drive business by showing the writer as an expert. The tools simply exist to harvest email addressees for mailing lists.

In life, you rarely come across people like me, experts in an area doing their own marketing and digital work. So for example, when I build a tool, I do the expert spiritual/healing side of it AND I work out the actual delivery mechanism in the digital sphere.

In most cases, in fact, the expert sits on one side, and then the digital experts (usually a team) sit on the other, and then they try to create a tool as a marketing gimmick that will attract the MOST email addresses to harvest.

The expert provides the info, and a writer makes it palatable…so a writer can write a “respected” piece by referencing a whole bunch of scientific research. But again, the topics they focus in on are the ones most likely to draw ongoing traffic to their website.

Most of the marketing and media you consume today is designed to speak to your fears, and generate some sort of emotional response in you. Even in “positive” lifestyle ads showing what you can be, the fear inherent is that you are not that, and will never achieve it.

And your mainstream media are the worst at catering content that will keep you distracted and focused, and give you incorrect messaging.

And often that messaging is packaged into sound bite style info so that you feel like you’re growing smarter, but are not forced to focus for very long.

All of this messaging is designed to make your mind slower, and to make you feel like you have an issue so that you keep coming back for more.

The content you’re consuming makes you depressed

Beyond that content, there is the rest of the content you’re consuming – and even fiction is FULL of the drama and chaos of life.

Nobody wants to watch a movie about a quiet hermit who lived a life of peace, calmly interacting with animals, slowly learning a few skills, and spending a lot of time in quiet contemplation.

So instead you watch a gory adventure or action film; a sexy romance, which of course requires a break up, because boys meets girl, it all goes well and they all live happily ever after doesn’t exactly make the greatest storyline does it?

Throw in a sinking passenger liner, one of the worst mass casualties we’ve had in history, the deaths of hundreds by drowning and hypothermia, a love that could never be, and then a love that ends a few weeks after meeting with the untimely death of the romantic hero… now you have Titanic – the greatest love story of our time.

You don’t watch a movie about the guy who calmly accepted his wife’s death and his lot in life, said a prayer of gratitude and moved on… but you’ll watch the movie about the tormented father who rips his family apart and commits murder, or even the tormented ghost that is still holding on, murdering people who had nothing to do with the torment that caused the hell that traps it on this plane.

You aren’t interested in the story of the mother no one knew about, who lost her child to sex trafficking, and quietly mourned her loss, never knowing the fate of her only beloved daughter. Because it was unremarkable.

But Liam Neeson blowing up half of Europe and taking down a veritable army of guys in a few foreign countries? That’ll do, donkey.

And you wonder why your lives are so filled with drama and chaos and torment?

It’s the ONLY excitement you know.

Heroes are always having a bad day. Have you ever noticed that?

So in order to have heroes who face stuff, you have to have demons and dragons for those heroes to face.

Combine this with the fact that you cannot distinguish between what you watch and reality ,and you have a cauldron of opportunity for your mind to look for ways to create drama in your life.

Think back to a horror movie you’ve watched… remember the fear that made your heart beat, your pulse quicken, your breath catch sharply as you got a fright, your palms sweat? That was your body reacting on a mental, emotional and physical level to the visual stimulus in front of you.

It didn’t matter that you were not actually living the movie – seeing it was enough for you to experience it as real.

When you see something, it anchors you in that experience – think of any dream. It always feels real when you are in it.

Whatever you see in other words creates the “reality” of the environment you are experiencing.

Sometimes this can feel so real that you can’t return to real life… like when you can’t snap out of a dream, or forget a movie.

So once you’re watching the movie, your body begins to “experience” that experience as real, and your mind adds that range of experiences to the continuous catalogue it is building in your mind.

Whenever you approach any experience, your mind looks back on every similar experience you’ve ever had, and chooses from all those responses, the best response for what you are facing. The best one you can see.

This is why experience makes you better at doing something – your mind has narrowed down the ways to approach it, and understood how to do it, enough times that you know the ‘best way’ to approach it now.

When you experience the ups and downs and highs and lows of the drama and chaos in television and movies, that also becomes part of your range of experience.

So when you are in your normal life, you will find yourself responding as your favorite character from your favorite show would, saying something they would say – especially if you watch the shows repeatedly, In fact, if you watch the shows ongoing or repeatedly, you even get a sense that these people are your friends, a real part of your life.

Eventually, you will not only draw on mannerisms from these shows, you will begin to draw on the emotional responses too… and the hero is ALWAYS having a bad day.

Each time you watch stuff that Hollywood feeds us, you are literally training yourself to create drama in your life, because it is what you have come to know as excitement and entertainment.

Nothing makes us more depressed than drama and chaos in our lives – we want everything to run smoothly and be happy and peaceful; have it be easy.

News is not real

In order to keep pace with our need for excitement and distraction, news has to have the sensationalism that movies do.

News channels have to compete with entertainment channels in order to keep your attention, because they make their monthly income the same way that all broadcasting services do – advertising revenue.

The simple rule is, the more people that watch a show, the more you can charge for the advert to be broadcast. Think of the big deal they make of Superbowl adverts, for example.

So news channels are having to up their game, and you even see it in smaller, private and alternative media, with stuff that we term “click bait” – thumbnails and article titles that actually have nothing to do with the content on the page, and are just designed to grab your attention.

Of course these places are finding out what rattles your cage and using that information to manipulate you into watching or clicking through.

Combined with the almost drug like effect spending large amounts of time on digital devices has, it is easy for you get addicted to certain news channels and media platforms that are designed to draw you in as their “primary target market”.

Doing a NEWS FAST was actually one of the first steps I took on my journey towards healing – and now my life is permanent news fast.

I go out and FIND media on alternative outlets – I seek for specific topics and pieces, and never just scroll or go to the front page of anything.

If there is a big piece of news, someone will let me know.

I’ve lived like this for about four years now, and it is one of the most powerful changes I ever made in my life.

You cannot be positive when all you hear all the time is bad news. And the media lives on bad news.

There’s an advertising piece of urban legend passed down when you study advertising, and it is about a day when the media decided to only run good news. Think it was back in the 60s. Sure someone will fill us in in the comments lol ?

Sales dropped to 25% that day – people were only interested in bad news.

If we want the media to change, we have to change the media we consume.

The Internet offers an incredible range of alternative media platforms and resources – get out there and find out what’s on offer.

The way to stay in the know in the information age is to be in charge of the content you consume – careful in your choices.

This is a difficult change at first, because it forces you to really think about what you want to consume next, but it is one I guarantee you will be happy you made.

Monthly payments and lifestyle

It really doesn’t matter what you do for a living anymore, everything seems to be reduced to making a monthly income… and month end always seems to be around the corner.

We’ve created this artificial of month end and it ties us to this idea of time, and we always seem to be moving from one month end and round of bill paying, to the next.

Likewise, once we’ve achieved something, say medical insurance, having to decide to go without it feels like a sacrifice or loss, which in many cases causes shame and guilt and doubt and vulnerability about our perceived lack.

Once we’ve achieved something, we feel that that’s where we should be and stay, and so when we need to make choices about how to cut back, we find it very difficult.

And our monthly expenses just seem to be growing and growing.

We are very likely the first generation in many, that will do worse than our parents did

So many are chasing the American dream, and our fear of missing out (FOMO), and instant gratification cultures, drive vast volumes of people to incur debt they really shouldn’t require, to keep up with the Joneses now – because patience is a long forgotten art.

Instant Gratification

We live in a 30-second instant gratification culture… fast foods, drive throughs, 24-hour delivery… I was horrified to see one of our major stores open on Christmas Day last year in fact.

When you are used to getting everything at the speed of light, then any delay you experience, in achieving any desire, will feel like a failure.

One of the worst habits that conscious manifestation and the Law of Attraction gave us was to set deadlines for goals – every time you get to a deadline and haven’t achieved it, you land up feeling like a failure.

Feel like a failure enough times and you will land up wanting to throw yourself off a cliff.

Patience and divine timing are lost arts, but well worth practicing if you want peace of mind.

Both of these will take time, and the self discipline of repeated practice, until you get them right.

You will fail miserably in the beginning, but keep going, because once you’ve seen enough ways not to do it, you will start to find ways to do it.

You will feel immensely frustrated along the way – use the frustration to inspire you and push you forward. Let it make you hungry to solve this puzzle.

A little bit of patience – and a lot LESS expectation – will make the world of difference in how you see your life.

And it’s surprisingly good training for learning how to properly relax.

Fear Of Missing Out – FOMO

The last sideswipe that modern culture throws at us is the fear of missing out… get it on credit! Why wait?

Because debt drains you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I work with people all over the world, and the money thing is everywhere – and it impacts everybody in the same ways.

Whatever is worth having is worth waiting for, and you’ll enjoy it so much more when your inner voice is not running riot with worry and anxiety about how you are going to pay your bills, or find food for the rest of the month.

The money thing is real, and it’s hitting a lot of people – and a lot of people are committing suicide because of it.

You CAN miss out on the latest mobile phone or car, if it means that you don’t have to miss out on your life.

Yes, the purchase gives you instant gratification, but long term it only does more damage.

8 Dangerous Myths About “Twin Flame” Relationships

When you first hear about Twin Flames the idea is appealing – largely because it’s misunderstood at first.

Most people make the mistake of thinking that a Twin Flame means guaranteed love – a guaranteed relationship.

The second reason that Twin Flames appeal is this desperate need we all have to be special – at least to one person… The One.

In this regard, ego has really screwed us over, as has society, with this idea of entitlement to love, a guarantee of love from Divine sources.

It really speaks to our laziness and entitlement as a society that we want an effortless and easy romantic relationship delivered to us, when we all know that relationships take work – a lot of time, dedication and work in fact.

You think I’m wrong? Then why are almost all Twin Flame teachings centered around the runner/chaser cycle?

Because it exists, that’s why.

In fact one Twin Flame running while the other chases is usually a NORM in Twin Flame relationships.

For most Twins, when they meet, it triggers untold chaos in one or both of their lives – usually partnered with a massive spiritual awakening.

This chaos, in fact, is exactly what triggers most Twins to seek a spiritual journey…. the emotional chaos and trauma becomes so great in certain instances, that they are forced to find relief, healing and help that truly speaks to the deepest parts of their soul.

So what other myths might be messing you up when it comes to understanding your Twin Flame?

1. You only have one Twin Flame
2. A Twin Flame is always a romantic relationship
3. Your Twin Flame is guaranteed to work and if it fails, it’s a False Twin
4. Twin Flame relationships will run smoothly from the moment you meet
5. You will be happy when you meet your Twin Flame and you will instantly recognize your Twin Flame
6. Your Twin Flame won’t be married or cheat you/cheat on you
7. All Twin Flame relationships follow the same pattern and trajectory
8. Sex and appearance are not important in romantic Twin Flames

Twin Flame Myth 1: You only have one Twin Flame

The idea that you only have one Twin Flame stems from three different concepts:

  • first, the need to be special again,
  • secondly, a misunderstanding about the Twin Flame mission, combined with a a lot of ego personalization,
  • and thirdly, misunderstanding about how souls are comprised.

Firstly, the need to be special.

Spirituality and many religions – and recently manifestation teachings like The Secret – have left us with a perception that every single one of us is special, and is entitled simply because we exist – because we were born.

But the truth that life throws this back in our faces every single day, tells us this isn’t the case. But we’re desperate to hold onto that hope, so we transfer the idea of being special onto specific life events – like meeting our romantic partner.

Of course there can only be one…. The One in fact.

But this isn’t logical, and the reason is free will.

Our Godlike natures and potential really boil down to one aspect – free will. We have the free will to choose our path and trajectory – and Source honors free will above everything else.

So the very idea that someone is DESTINED or predetermined to get involved with another specific person flies in the face of free will. Free will means you choose – a destined partner means you have no choice.

We always have choice.

But they want to give you the best chance of finding and experiencing the love you deserve, and so in order to do that, they send multiple Twin Flames. This way, if one dies in car accident, or misses the train and doesn’t meet you, or decides to a live a celibate life, there is a backup to take their place.

The reason this can happen is the third mentioned – how souls are comprised.

So your soul has an identity, and let’s say that identity’s name is Sue. Sue is a soul.

When Sue is ready for a life, a piece of her soul will be taken to create a new identity. So let’s say Sue is living four lifetimes at the same time – Mary, Jane, Sarah and Lee. So Sue leaves 20% of her soul energy behind, and takes 20% of her soul into each lifetime.

In order to employ free will though, they need to blank out our memories at birth.

Think about it…. if you knew you would meet the love of your life at 35, and you knew what they looked like and what your karma and soul history with them is, would you take the relationships that came before that seriously? Would you even have them at all, knowing that they were all doomed to fail?

And what if you knew that last lifetime you had been a violent and abusive partner, and this lifetime you’d agreed to enter into an abusive relationship as a victim… would you still enter into the relationship knowing it would mean years of abuse and torture?

Of course not!

Enter memory wiping at birth, and you believe you are making choices of your free will – which you really are. It’s blank slate and a chance to decide entirely based on where you are now.

So when they blank our memory we forget that we are actually Sue, and we start to believe that we are only Mary or only Jane.

However, at the point of death, Mary and Jane and Sarah and Lee will return and become a part of Sue again – but Sue will still be the main identity.

The confusion of being a blank slate at birth means that we grow up thinking that Mary is our only identity, and then we assume that Mary will be the primary identity when we get back. But Mary won’t – she’ll go back to being Sue.

So a Twin Flame can be on your primary soul aspect, in which case it will have the potential to be a lifetime relationship.

Or, the Twin Flame can exist purely on a single soul aspect, in which case it would only be active for as long as that soul aspect is dominant. If you’ve ever experienced one of those lessons where you feel like a whole new person and it takes you a few days to readjust and reorient to your body, then you have experienced a soul aspect awakening.

The reason this is all necessary is the second we mentioned – the Twin Flame mission.

We tend to personalize stuff like Twin Flames, thinking it is about our personal happiness, our personal glory and what God personally has planned for us, because we as individuals are so special.

However, the truth is that we are here as a collective group on a mission to change the world, and Twin Flames play an important energetic role in that.

In a nutshell it works like this: changing people one at a time would be too time consuming and too difficult – the ego barriers at this time are immense. So instead, we are clearing and changing the collective energetic field of the earth – known as the morphic or holographic field.

We do this first through empaths, who absorb negative energy and scrub it, simply removing it from the field altogether. Now however, we are left with an imbalance – a shortage of energy in the field.

Enter Twin Flames, who release the highest form of creation energy, known as zero point energy, when they reconcile dualities.

The reason this happens is because Twin Flames are a recursion of the original I AM separation of creation.

Each time a duality is reconciled therefore, it releases a burst of clean, pure energy into the field to replace what has been scrubbed and removed by the empaths.

From here, the Messiahs enter. Their job is receive new downloads of new layers of information, and broadcast those teachings to others, as well as anchor them energetically in the field.

It’s a team job, and there is no “I” in T-E-A-M.

Twin Flame Myth 2: A Twin Flame is always a romantic relationship

Another common misconception is that Twins are always romantic relationships. This is also a belief that leads to thinking there can only be one Twin Flame.

Remember, Twin Flames are about the mission, and we want to get this done as quickly as possible.

So, if we already have a whole bunch of Twin Flames on earth releasing zero point energy, then doesn’t it make sense that we would give them multiple other Twin Flame relationships in their lives to increase zero point energy production?

On average, about 40% of souls are Twin Flames.

However, at this time on Earth, as many as 70 – 80% of the souls on the planet are Twin Flames.

Some of these are parent/child bonds, some siblings, some friends, some lovers…. the roles don’t matter. It only matters that these relationships are seeing issues reconciled and releasing that zero point energy in the field.

And since they sent backups anyway, it makes sense to have those backups floating around in your life, nearby, in case they need to step in.

Twin Flame Myth 3: Your Twin Flame is guaranteed to work and if it fails, it’s a False Twin

Twin Flames are difficult relationships to navigate.

You already carry these extreme dualities – like one is a liar and the other totally truthful. For this mission however, they added some fuel to the fire and picked Twin Flames that have huge karmic loads to balance as well.

This achieves something amazing from an energetic point of view… it greatly magnifies each burst of zero point energy, giving us way more bang for our buck, and helping the shift progress faster.

However, this also means that the already difficult Twin Flame bond is now going to be even more difficult to navigate.

Which then leads to the next misconception…

Twin Flame Myth 4: Twin Flame relationships will run smoothly from the moment you meet

I reference back to the runner/chaser. There is a good reason this is the most commonly recognized pattern among Twin Flames – it’s COMMON.

More often than not in fact, Twin Flames will be total chaos from the moment you meet.

And if the relationship isn’t chaos, other areas of your life will start falling apart.

One very interesting pattern is the push-pull effect… as one of you comes right in an area, the other will get thrown off balance again.

So one of you is sick or miserable or having a hard time at work, and as soon as you come right, it seems that your partner has something that falls apart.

It can be very frustrating if you don’t balance it, because there always seems to be an imbalance and inequality in the relationship.

This is actually true, because it’s one of the ways that the Twin Flame bond forces you to work as a team – as a single united soul.

Twin Flame Myth 5: You will be happy when you meet your Twin Flame and you will instantly recognize your Twin Flame

I’ve met more Twin Flames where there was disinterest from one party at first, than I have Twin Flames where both instantly fell in love.

It’s almost like some Twin Flames are guaranteed to start with the runner/chaser cycle, with one the Twin Flames instantly falling in love and beginning a (sometimes VERY long) chase to win the other’s affection.

Interestingly, almost all these particular Twin Flames see a switch over in runner/chaser orientation when a commitment is finally made.

Once the runner has been caught and a relationship starts, often that runner becomes the chaser for the duration of the relationship, and in many cases is the heartbroken party at the end of it all.

Twin Flame Myth 6: Your Twin Flame won’t be married or cheat you/cheat on you

This particular misconception causes so much backlash when you talk about it, but it’s very common on this particular cycle.

And before we get into the whole ‘God would never send you anybody married debate,’ I would like to offer this story from the Bible.

So Abraham, the father of Israel, if you don’t know his story, was married to Sarai – later Sarah.

For many years she was barren and could not give him a son. Eventually, in order to ease his pain, Sarah offered him her Egyptian maidservant, Hagar, to mate with. Hagar bore a son for Abraham – his first son – Ishmael.

However, many years later, Sarah was blessed by the Lord and bore him a son, Isaac, who was his father’s favorite.

Isaac grew. The time came for his mother to stop breast-feeding him. On that day Abraham prepared a big celebration. But Sarah saw Ishmael making fun of Isaac. Ishmael was the son Hagar had by Abraham. Hagar was Sarah’s Egyptian slave. Sarah said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman! Get rid of her son! That woman’s son will never have a share of the family’s property. All of it belongs to my son Isaac.” What Sarah said upset Abraham very much. After all, Ishmael was his son.

But God said to Abraham, “Do not be so upset about the boy and your slave Hagar. Listen to what Sarah tells you, because your family line will continue through Isaac. I will also make the son of your slave into a nation. I will do it because he is your child.” – Genesis 21: 8-13

So even God will play favorites and send a partner away.

We can’t always see the bigger picture or the reasons why though.

The reason it’s so common in this time though, has a lot more to do with our own entitlement and instant gratification.

Patience is not a common trait nowadays – not in our quick fix society of instant everything.

This impatience, combined with our desperate loneliness, a need for connection and love, and this idea that we are mature before our time, leads many of us into hasty relationships at an early age.

So the truth is that many of the Twin Flames that are meeting now actually married the wrong person 10 or 15 years ago, and now the universe is finally playing out the fate that you were too impatient to stick around and wait for.

In addition, a lot of people settled or compromised, or fell pregnant or felt ticking biological clocks… and they too got married for the wrong reasons.

It’s not pretty, but it also does fit with the need for massive zero point releases – because the leap to leave a marriage and commit to someone else is a huge thing to reconcile.

The bigger the reconciliation, the bigger the release of energy.

It’s messy, but it serves the purpose – and actually gets the job done a little more quickly than if we’d made it pretty.

And if you think that is hasn’t gotten ugly before… they nailed Jesus to a cross on that last go round. Just think about how gruesome and messy that scene is.

We sadly have to work within the confines of the energies and stories available in people’s lives and the morphic field.

If this story and energy is most prevalent, then this is the resource we will use to achieve our aims.

Twin Flame Myth 7: All Twin Flame relationships follow the same pattern and trajectory

Another big misconception we’ll discuss today is that all Twin Flames follow the same path and trajectory. This simply isn’t true.

The truth is there are actually 2 kinds of Twin Flames – and I don’t mean romantic and platonic, or even Twin Flames, False Twins and Twit Flames.

The 2 kinds of Twin Flames are Expressing Love Twin Flames, and then Creating Love Twin Flames.

Expressing Love Twin Flames are those relationships where it is all sunshine and roses (mostly anyway), and is smooth sailing in regards that the two parties want to be together, and move heaven and earth to make that happen.

The second kind of Twin Flame is a Creating Love Twin Flame, and as the name suggests, these Twins have to work to create the love or opportunity for love.

Whether it’s because one is running, or because of life circumstances, or because one is tied down by obligation, often work, family or marriage, these Twins have to work to traverse and cross huge boundaries to be able to share a life together. Many of theses bonds are also long distance.

In many cases, there is a love triangle where the choice is money/obligation or love.

If these two do manage to get it together, the relationship can also often be rocky when they are living together, and these bonds can be described as passionate and fiery. They can get very fiery in fact.

They’re also often very sexual, with high drama and high energy and tension, which makes them irresistible in many cases. This is especially true for healers and fixers and problem solvers, who prefer the thrill of fixing and solving to the boredom of everything going smoothly.

The many psychopath/narcissist and empath connections coming to light are creating love bonds.

Many of these relationships have already had years of back and forth running and chasing, and have now been rocked by all sorts of terrible betrayal. So there are already two major layers of trust and abandonment to overcome – the runner history and betrayal.

In addition, if these Twins had to choose to move forward, there would be a massive amount of work required to rebuild these relationships or reach a level of trust and connection that would make it worth pursuing again.

Many Twins are battling to walk away from these bonds though, as there does seem to be some importance to the history of the past five years.

There’s some relevance to the fact that these relationships viewed the spiritual transformation we’ve all been undergoing the past few years.

Somehow understanding who we were previously will make a difference later on; but I’m not entirely sure how yet?

Twin Flame Myth 8: Sex and appearance are not important in romantic Twin Flames

This last one really confuses me, and I think it’s about the prudishness of society, combined with spiritual bypassing.

Whatever the reason though, the truth is that almost every romantic relationship has a sexual component – it is a natural expression of the urge to oneness – the urge to move closer to God.

We all understand that our Twin Flames are a spiritual experience, and we know that they trigger a spiritual awakening, which is also about moving closer to God.

These bonds have come into our lives to help us express that need to be close, enjoy shared experience, and be one with the person.

Sex is the most natural expression of this – and most importantly, it is the mechanism of tantric union.

Sexual experience within a Twin Flame romantic bond is meant to help you greatly accelerate both of your trajectory towards Source.

Whether or not you are a Twin Flame, you need to feel, and find your partner, sexy, in order to keep that sexual connection going.

So many Twin Flames are falling apart and having their partners cheat because they are not fulfilling the sexual needs of their partner.

The deal with monogamy is that when you tell the person to be faithful, it is not just for your fidelity in return: the underlying agreement is that you will meet the person’s sexual needs, and be all that they desire, so that they can keep their promise to remain faithful to you.

It doesn’t matter how good you are as friends and companions and parents – living a half life with a romantic Twin Flame you are not sexually engaged with is only living at 70%.

The sex is amazing in Twin Flame bonds for a reason…. the sex contributes to the overall energetic work we are doing. Tantric union is the mechanism of unity.

Every mechanism that we are using to navigate and do the work we are doing is a natural mechanism or expression that occurs normally in our daily lives.

This is the backup mechanism from the universe, and reason they do it like this is so that they can be sure it will still happen, or start to happen, even without conscious interference from lightworkers in the field.

So basically, by building the mechanisms into our normal day to day life expression, they could be sure the shift would start – even if none us had woken up already.

Another key point to note about appearance is that we come programmed with the knowledge of what our ideal Twin will look like.

First impressions count, and you don’t want to miss the mark because you haven’t kept up your side of what they expect you too look like…especially if you only have one or two chances at meeting your Flame.