To Do The Thing You’ve Always Wanted To Do, You Have To Do It

I’m going to talk about a fairly simple concept, but one that I think many people lose sight of when attempting to make significant changes in their lives. Many people stick to the mindset that ‘in order to do the things I want to do, I have to first do all the things I “need” to do.’ I know I’m definitely guilty of this kind of this thinking from time to time. But if I pay attention to my experience, it actually teaches me something different.

I’ve learned that what we spend our time doing, will create more opportunities to do that thing. This recently became very clear to me. I’m going to use acting as an example because that is one of my main passions but it could literally be substituted for anything.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” – Tony Robbins (source)

An Epiphany

The nature of working in the entertainment industry is rocky at best. It can be a bit of a feast or famine situation. I’m sure you’ve heard of the age-old saying, “when it rains, it pours.” I’ve found that to be so true in the acting world. Over the summer I really wasn’t getting many auditions and I started taking a lot of video editing work, sometimes up to 40 or 50 hours a week.

I quickly found myself with more editing jobs than I could keep up with, but no acting gigs. While I enjoy editing and it’s a good way to pay the bills, I don’t want to spend every day doing it. But the editing jobs kept coming in. One gig could lead to 3 more because of word of mouth, and I kept getting better and better because I was doing so much of it. Suddenly it became very clear to me, if I wanted to act more, I better start acting more.

Make It Happen

I decided to sign up for an advanced acting class where I get to work on intense scenes every week. It was a challenge at first because it had been shamefully long since I’d had to learn a massive 10-page scene and it was like working a muscle that had been lying dormant. The class had been a great workout and within 3 weeks I ended up booking a supporting role in a comedic feature film, for which I recently got to head out to Ayers Cliff in Quebec for 8 days to join the shoot.

While I was in Quebec, getting to have a blast doing what I love, my agent messaged me with a big audition for a major network show that perfectly worked out with my schedule. I had to take a train back to Toronto immediately after shooting and taxi straight to the audition with all my luggage. I felt the momentum like I was riding a wave, and I didn’t feel nervous or out of place in the casting room. The audition was part knowing the script and part improv, and it just so happened that the director of the film I was just working with on the feature loved improv, so I felt very ready for the challenge because I had just spent a week working that muscle too!

As I left the audition room the casting director had a big smile on her face and I could tell she was happy. That’s not to say I will book the role, but I felt 100% ready for that audition and what she saw was a prepared actor who made strong choices, and gave a good read. That’s all I can hope for because there are so many elements out my control in the casting process. Not booking a role can come down to something as simple as height, or looking too much like the lead, or even looking too much like the director’s ex. You never really know. But the fact of the matter is the audition went really well, and I even saw the reader in the hallway after and she gleefully told me I did a great job.

I chose to take a class but there are many other ways I could’ve stayed fresh. It could’ve been through writing my own short film and acting in it, producing a play, writing a scene and hiring a small crew to film it, even performing monologues on the street. I mean, the list goes on and on. The important part is doing it. Whatever your thing is, the thing you want to do but are holding yourself back from, the reason you clicked on this article, find a way to do it.

“If you stay ready, you don’t need to get ready.” – Will Smith (source)

Failure Is Mandatory

To get to a point where I could audition confidently didn’t just take one class though. I started acting at the age of 4 and have taken dozens of classes and workshops and acted on many sets to get to the comfort level I’m at now. I’ve failed hundreds of times if not thousands, but the importance of keeping sharp in my craft has never felt more necessary. When I’m not keeping up with it, the slightest few pages can be daunting to learn and perform, but when I am practicing and staying focused my work seems to flow effortlessly and I even find memorization is much easier.

Based on my experience, the key thing that separates professionals from amateurs is the professional’s willingness to fail over and over. I think it’s absolutely imperative that whatever your pursuit, you redefine your relationship with failure. Depending on what stage you are at, it could take years to become even slightly competent but if you really love what you’re doing, keep at it and it will be worth it.

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill (source)

Choose Your Struggles Wisely

Any career path, any relationship, any endeavor worth anything will come with its own struggles. As much as I enjoy the sporadic life of an actor, I know some people that have chosen this profession who don’t seem happy. They might love being on set, but they despise the lifestyle that goes with it.

Getting last minute auditions, not seeing friends and family for months on end, waking up for super early call times (sometimes as early as 3 AM), long 16-18 hour days, and the non-stop audition process where you have to prove yourself over and over again, this can all be incredibly daunting so you really have to love the entire process, or most of it at least.

I recently read the book, “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Mason and I found his ideas on struggle quite enlightening. If you are pursuing something but find the pain greatly outweighing the pleasure you get from that thing, it may be worth re-evaluating why you are doing it in the first place. If you are spending your life working towards a goal but rarely enjoying the journey, what’s the point?

That being said, a certain amount of struggle is necessary for any growth and usually the greater the goal, the greater the struggle. So it’s up to us to choose what struggles we want in our lives and if the struggles we choose are worth it.

“Happiness requires struggle.” – Mark Mason (source)

The Takeaway

Now to get back to the simple message: What you put your time and focus into will bring you more of (insert that thing here). Change starts within, that’s for sure, but it continues with action. Love and light!

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho (source)

The Man The CIA Wants You To Forget

Michael C. Ruppert was an ex-LAPD Narcotics Detective and whistleblower who came out against the CIA in the late 70’s. He claimed they tried to enlist him in protecting and helping to facilitate their drug running practices. When Ruppert declined involvement and came forward he said he was threatened, wrongly discredited, and even shot at, but that didn’t stop him from speaking up.

“I will tell you, director Deutch, that as a former LosAngeles police narcotics detective that the agency has dealt drugs throughout this country for a long time.” – Michael C. Ruppert

At a now infamous town hall hearing in LA, he faced off against the chief of the CIA with a packed room of people from the South-Central area cheering him on from the crowd. It was not only the unlawful behavior Ruppert wanted to expose, but also the incredible hypocrisy of the CIA and the LAPD for bringing cocaine and other drugs into the community, and then locking up small-time drug dealers and users.

These imported drugs were ripping apart communities with widespread effects like addiction, increased crime and gang activity, overdose deaths, and many incarcerations that broke up families leading to cycles of crime that spanned generations. You can see the video of the emotional town hall meeting below.

He Didn’t Stop There

Michael Ruppert spent most of his life trying to expose criminality at the highest levels. Tackling everything from the peak oil crisis to the military industrial complex. He also believed that 9/11 was allowed to happen by the Bush administration.

” 9-11 was a predictable event and it was motivated precisely and solely by Peak Oil and nothing else.” – Michael C. Ruppert (source)

Ruppert became a published author and gained more notoriety for his controversial book “Confronting Collapse: The Crisis of Energy and Money in a Post Peak Oil World.”  That ended up inspiring the eye-opening documentary “Collapse”, which is a worthwhile watch to start understanding the deep levels of corruption and cover-up that has been taking place around the globe.

No matter your thoughts on the legitimacy of Ruppert’s claims, it’s clear he wasn’t afraid of taking on the Goliaths of the world but for doing so was branded by many throughout the mainstream media as a wild conspiracy theorist.

“All corporate-owned and publicly-traded media is our first and foremost immediate enemy.” Michael C. Ruppert


It’s 1996 and in comes Gary Webb. A very well respected Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who begins investigating the ties between leaders of the Nicaraguan Contra Rebel organizations and the CIA. Webb wrote a 3 part investigative series that got published in the San Jose Mercury News. This caused a public uproar, especially from people in poorer communities where the crack-cocaine epidemic was destroying families.

The publicity from Webb’s scathing piece of journalism against the CIA is what allowed Ruppert the chance to finally be heard on a larger scale, and Webb’s conclusions even launched a federal investigation into the issue. While many people believed him, Gary Webb ended up losing his publisher, getting smeared all over the mainstream news for exaggerating and was even called an outright liar. Alongside Ruppert, Webb was outspoken in saying there was massive media manipulation around the issue.

“The government side of the story is coming through the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, The Washington Post. They use the giant corporate press rather than saying anything directly. If you work through friendly reporters on major newspapers, it comes off as The New York Times saying it and not a mouthpiece of the CIA.” – Gary Webb

Tragic Ending

Gary Webb was found dead in his home in 2004 with two gunshot wounds to the head. His death was ruled a suicide but there is still some speculation considering the fact that it’s uncommon for a person to pull the trigger twice in a suicide but to be fair it has happened in the past. There was a suicide note and his wife has stated he was depressed for a while about no longer being able to get a job at any major newspaper.

An eerily similar fate was met by Michael Ruppert. He was found dead in his home in 2014 with one gunshot wound to the head. He also left a note and his death was ruled a suicide. Just like Webb there was mystery around Ruppert’s official story, some believe it was a hit for saying too much or that maybe he was onto another big story, some believe the suicide was staged and he went off the map to get a fresh start, and others take the story at face value and think that maybe he’d just had enough of fighting, of always looking over his shoulder. As a man that spent his life questioning the mainstream narrative, it seems fitting that many conspiracy theories have formed around his death.

The Takeaway

If you check out the video below you can hear from Michael Ruppert himself about some of his story and see him in action at the town hall meeting where he challenged the CIA. His question to the chief is a powerful one, asking if he comes across information of illegal activity but it’s classified, will he report it?

Are these organizations we give the power to enforce the law and/or to protect us above the law? Are there circumstances where illegal activity by some organizations is justified, say if the information is a threat to public safety? Why could none of the CIA’s internal investigations find any hard evidence of the claims against them? Who’s watching the watchers? One of the final sentences of Ruppert’s suicide note reads:

“I do this for the children, may it bring love and light into the world.” – Michael C. Ruppert (source)

That seems like a cause that we can all get behind. Working together to build a world worth leaving to future generations. Let’s leave it better than we found it, I know we’re capable of it. Whether you agree with Michael Ruppert’s beliefs or not we can learn from him because I feel that he was trying to do just that, leave the world a better place. Love and light!

I’m Coming Out Of The ‘Conspiracy Closet’

Hello, I’m James, and I’m coming out of the conspiracy closet, also known as the bunker.

I’ve been a free thinker since before I can remember, always asking questions and not just accepting the status quo. My Dad gave me the book “Was God An Astronaut?” when I was in my teens and I remember something about that book just really opening my mind to so many possibilities, thinking for days on end about how the pyramids were built, or wondering if humans were in fact somehow created by alien beings that seeded life on earth.

As I delved deeper down the rabbit hole, I started seeing the world very differently, learning about hidden energies, false flag attacks (which undeniably have happened throughout history), and really creepy stuff like Bohemian Grove, where, if you didn’t know, some of the world’s elite dress in black robes, have a mock (or maybe real) human sacrifice, and burn a massive wooden owl in effigy. The owl represents conscience–yes, they are literally burning their conscience for the year so they can justify not having one. I think we can agree this is a bit strange, and shows us how these people are not how they portray themselves to the world.

Scared To Speak Up

There are many reasons I’ve come up with for NOT speaking out. “People might think I’m crazy,” or, since I work as an actor, “I’m in the entertainment industry, I don’t want to get blacklisted.” I sometimes have even more serious concerns, like becoming a targeted individual, or being killed for saying too much. There have been many different stories I’ve made up over the years to not actually say what I believe. But where does this fear come from? For that, I have had to look within.

In many cases when we’re experiencing fear about something, it’s just our own shadow that’s frightening us. I’m starting to see that now, and I’m learning over time to be more open about my beliefs. I find that when I am, I’m usually surprised at how receptive people are, and how many people share similar thoughts and ideas but don’t talk about them. It’s a large number and it’s growing by the day.

Those Awkward Family Dinners

With Thanksgiving coming up, I’ve been reflecting on the many times my family dinners have gotten a bit, well, awkward, to say the least. The gun debate seems like an easy one if you believe that there’s an ever-growing tyrannical government that’s infringing on our freedoms by the day, but if you don’t see that, I can’t blame you for thinking the world might be safer if civilians did not have easy access to guns. This topic alone is enough to end a family get-together with a blowout.

But does any of that really even matter? Are we all just getting caught up in the minute details? Are we being systematically divided? I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening y’all. That’s what my gut instinct says. A huge lesson in Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War is ‘divide and conquer.’ That’s what I feel is happening to us.

Divided by gender, race, sex, religion, sports team, political party, favorite professional wrestler, believing if Burt and Ernie are gay or not, (seriously, there was legit outrage about this recently) and the list goes on and on. This is how we’re getting pitted against each other. I know it’s not a new idea but it’s one worth looking deeper into for sure–and you can to that here.

How We Can’t Change The World

We can’t change our lives and the world by sitting around bickering with each other about small details, especially since they are just a minuscule percentage of the many symptoms emerging from the DISTRACTION MECHANISMS that are in place to keep our focus away from who we truly are and what we’re capable of. The fact is that once we start opening up to and really see the bigger picture, small political debates about policies and left/right issues seem totally frivolous. It’s like a doctor focusing on a stubbed toe when the patient actually has a stage 4 brain tumor.

Nothing is going to change if we keep believing that it really makes a difference as to who gets into office. That is the magic trick, the sleight of hand, being drawn to what the magician is telling us to look at. If we want to catch the trick we need to focus on what he doesn’t want us to see, which is often what we ourselves are scared to look at.

So, all that being said, this wild journey of discovery has lead me to Collective Evolution. I’ve been working with the incredible team and helping to build CETV, which we are all really excited about. We have some mind-blowing content coming soon. I believe in the idea of conscious media greatly. Don’t get caught up in the outrage trap. Love and light!

The Takeaway

Overall, I believe it comes down to this: we need to speak our truth in order to bring ‘light’ to ‘darkness’. Plain and simple, if awakened individuals stay silent about their beliefs, the powers that be will remain strong, and the collective consciousness of humanity will not expand. Keep challenging your beliefs, keep growing and expanding your consciousness, keep learning from others, and most importantly, keep seeking truth–just don’t be afraid to speak up when you find it.