By Harrish Sairaman – Leading Life and Spiritual Coach,
How to live a happy life? It’s one of the most common questions faced by people all over the world.
That’s why we like to share ‘the ultimate guide to a happy life’ from Harrish Sairaman, one of the leading life, spiritual, and performance coach who is helping many organizations and innumerable people achieve their true potential through his company Cogniizant Transformation since 2006. He has shared some amazing tips to live a happy life by sharing solutions to common problems faced by many people.
So, here are the detailed tips to live a happy life from the leading life coach Harrish Sairaman:
1. How to find happiness in life?
‘Happiness’ is considered more like an ultimate goal of life; something which is very difficult to achieve. The thought, itself is detrimental to the lasting of happiness. According to me, the following points are ‘key to a happy life’:
a. A deeper understanding and experience that happiness is not an ultimate, or long-term goal, but a daily experience! Don’t make it a tough far-sighted goal. In fact, happiness can be experienced every day. So the first requirement is to change your perspective on happiness.
b. Happiness can be independent of outside factors, but your emotions must be dependent on ‘you and you only!’. Today people have ensured that their excitement, enthusiasm, and happiness is dependent on others, and external factors. We might be interdependent on these factors, but the total control should be with us.
c. Having a goal of, ‘being happy all the time’ is setting yourself for a frustration. Not because it is possible or impossible, but because we have the privilege of experiencing a spectrum of emotions. Sometimes, we can be sad, angry, excited, enthusiastic, and even happy. Getting upset is not wrong, we just need to work on it, and once again bounce back to positive emotion.
So, do not look at ‘Happiness’ as a far-fetched thing just because people are promoting it that way, it’s totally in your reach, you totally deserve it, and you are already experiencing it in bits. Just be conscious and have a journey of continuous improvement.
2. How to overcome work stress?
Work stress is not a new word for many, some are regularly hearing it, and some are experiencing the same. Work stress can have various causes; hence the solutions have to be specific to the cause.
a. Inability to handle work or workload:
It is important to introspect if the work is really stressful or the lack of current knowledge, skills, and motivation is creating stress. So instead of judging the target, and the work; it would be great to introspect, and analyse what needs to be changed? What needs to be learnt to handle the work stress?
b. Lack of time management & prioritization:
For many people, work stress is due to improper time management. Undoubtedly people are running ‘hard’ but helter-skelter, randomly picking up what comes up. Some time devoted daily for planning, prioritizing, introspecting would definitely reduce the work stress.
c. Inability to express:
Sometimes the workload might be unrealistic to handle, but out of fear one may not express. Instead of suffering later, it’s better to express or check with the seniors on ‘how’ it can be addressed.
d. Basic emotional weakness:
Some people get stressed due to emotional weakness. Regular meditation, proper diet, exercise and proper sleep can really help.
Work pressure and demand are ever increasing, and this is its innate nature. So, one must continuously enhance mental, emotional, physical abilities to overcome stress and progress in a quantum way. Sharpen your ‘axe’ as we say.
3. How to tackle peer comparison?
Peer comparison is inevitable; until and unless your mind is totally free of perceptive filters, or you do not have a desire to excel. In the corporate world, comparisons are not only inevitable but also important. The reason I say this is because peer comparison is not wrong or bad, but if it leads to frustration, then it is definitely not good.
Comparison and competition both are great. If we change our perceptive filters about it, then comparisons can serve as great constructive feedback. When we compare and see anyone outperforming us, it is feedback for us that something is missing and can be a great learning experience. It also tells that we can be better, and there is scope for improvement. Continuous learning is the best way of growing and to continuously learn we need to work on our shortcomings. So, here it is, the comparison is giving a valuable lesson. On the other hand, if we compare and see others not outperforming us, it’s feedback that we are doing a great job.
If we can compare only to grow and reflect, the quality of comparison will transform the frustration into curiosity, excitement and positivity.
4. How to have a positive start of the day?
A morning routine is seeding for the entire day and even for life. There is an age-old saying, ‘Say your prayers before going to sleep and after you get up in the morning.’ Which reflects that these two times are crucial. During these times, we are naturally in the subconscious state, hence seeding the right seeds are crucial. Mornings are like the beginning; hence if the beginning is right, we have a higher probability of the day going right.
Let’s look at some practices that are a blend of spirituality, metaphysics, the yogic culture and science:
The truth is ‘every day is a tremendous opportunity’ to improve every area of life. So one of the best ways to start the morning is with gratitude for all that you have, and a focus on how can we make the day a Great Day. So, questions like ‘What am I thankful for?’, ‘What am I proud of?’ and ‘How can I make my day a great day?’ will help you set the mornings.
b. Program the subconscious mind:
As soon as we get up in the morning, that little drowsy phase is a state of ‘natural hypnosis’ and can be used to program the subconscious mind. So we can either repeat positive statements or listen to positive audios in this state. This will seed the right emotions which can influence the entire day.
Morning is a great time to plan and reflect for the entire day. With the kind of work pressure and information overload one can go ‘off track’ this morning ritual can definitely help.
d. Respecting the body:
The body needs to be in an optimum state to perform effectively for a long time. Exercising the body through yoga or other forms of exercise is a great way to give a boost. Average people have this beautiful excuse of no time. Remember, if you don’t find time now, one day you will have no choice but to find the time. So, rather than acting out of desperation lets take action with Inspiration.
e. Exercising the mind:
Regular breath work and meditation will not only alleviate the stress levels but also bring in core emotional and mental strength.
These are just some points one can practice. These are investments which will show up as the highest life returns.
5. How to overcome the negative-thinking process to live a happy life?
Negative thinking is a common problem today, and many are experiencing it. While some people have even accepted that it’s part and parcel of life. The good thing is that it can be addressed and eliminated. To overcome negative thinking one needs to understand the origin or the root cause before eliminating it. Else it might just be a symptomatic treatment which obviously wouldn’t last long. Let’s break this up:
a. Meaning of negative thought:
Let’s define negative thinking as the thought process that has no value, sometimes exaggerated, and a thought which evidently goes against our goal. For example, your target is to get promoted this year, but there is a constant nagging of the mind which says ‘It may not happen or something might go wrong.’ The depth and the variation of these kinds of thoughts can be huge.
b. Past experience:
Many times the origin of a negative thought is a negative experience of the past which has jolted a person. Now, it is obvious that the past cannot be changed, but unfortunately, our mind believes that the past is equivalent to the future, which may not be true. If you have been rejected in the past, then in the same future scenario the mind says ‘it will not happen.’ If you asked your mind “how would you know?” it would say “because it has happened in the past. And the past is equivalent to the future.” So, it’s important to learn from the past, and remind your mind that the future need not be like the past, in fact, it can be way better. This is an effective way of breaking the past pattern and the hallucination that the mind has got looped into.
Our environment has a huge impact on our lives, and the people around us contribute the maximum. A lot of times our negative thoughts are just influenced by the negative people we are with. So, one can become aware of the influencers, and avoid some of those negative people. If it cannot be avoided, one has to consciously connect more with positive people so that the weight of the positive influence becomes more than the negative.
Whatever we practice we become good at it. Now it does not matter whether you are practising the positive or negative. Some people are auto-pilot negative thinkers. They are not even aware; hence they become good at it. These also include what we read, and what we regularly watch on television.
e. Deeper belief & karmic patterns:
These can be tricky as they might be deeply embedded in the subconscious mind. If you have been practising all of the above points and yet you see a deep-rooted negative emotion surfacing, again and again, there could be something deeper. The good thing is, there are experts and professionals who can help. A professional hypnotherapist, life coach etc. can help and do wonders. However, one needs to maintain a positive thought that these people can help.
6. How to use self-affirmation technique to become more positive?
Affirmations are positive statements that are combined with the power of repetition and visualization to produce a shift in the behaviours and emotions. Before we look at a couple of powerful self – affirmations, let’s understand the ingredients of the technique that makes it powerful:
When we repeat anything again and again; it seeps into our subconscious mind; hence it starts becoming a habit.
When we visualize clearly and think as if its happening, the mind cannot differentiate between reality and imagination and perceives it to be real. Once that is done, it brings in chemical changes in our system to make it happen.
When we visualize clearly, emotions get triggered and once emotions get triggered the mind brings in changes quickly!!!
The affirmation always has to be created in the present tense and should comprise of positive words only, as we are making the mind believe that it’s happening now. Some examples are:
I. “I enjoy being positive and I am becoming more and more positive every day. As I become more and more positive, my life is now becoming serious of success.”
II. “I naturally focus more on the positive side of all my relationships and Life.”
7. How to overcome the fear of failures?
Fear is not a bad emotion, in fact, it is a protective mechanism, and the anticipation of pain (emotional, mental, or physical). Fear is always about the future, felt in the present, based on the past. To overcome the fear of failure, one has to work on the past as well as future so that the fear in the present moment can be eliminated.
Fear of failure normally has a past association in the form of experience or learning from other’s experience and teachings. We cannot change the past, but we can learn from the past and have a positive conclusion. Just because we failed in the past; it is not necessary that it would happen again, provided we learn from it. People who don’t learn, have a higher fear, as they are confident it will happen again. So, effective learning from the past can reduce the fear, as you know the learning will be implemented.
What we think about the future has a direct impact on the present moment. We always have a choice about the future as it has not yet happened. We can either think about the wors or we can think about the best so that fear gets converted into excitement.
So to conclude, if we learn from the past and think about the best possibilities in the future, the fear of failure can be reduced and even eliminated. Also, do not hesitate to take support from mentors, if required.
8. How to utilize money for happiness?
For a lot of people happiness and money don’t go hand in hand, especially when they view it from their deceptive spiritual and philosophical lens. The true spiritual lens will recognise the symbiotic way of living for both. Yes, happiness can be independent of money, but at the same time, they both can co-exist. There is no need to prioritize or choose one over the other. This approach is required to utilize money to bring in more happiness in life.
It is important to acknowledge that we live in a world where money matters. Happiness can be easily experienced, when people live a life of purpose, contribute, give their best to their family members, and even experience luxuries that they had never experienced before. While a lot of people will reject the relation between luxuries and happy life, but essentially it does exist in a phase of life. It may not be permanent, but the importance cannot be denied.
So, when money is used to create value for others, used as the starting point to venture your dreams, or serves as monetary security for your family members, it definitely adds up to the happiness quotient. Once again, I am not saying money alone creates happiness, but if used in the right way, money can definitely contribute.