Kp Message 1-11-22… “The feeling of ‘I’m not sure if I’m going to make it’”

That “feeling” came in very strongly today.

I’ve been sensing a lot of pressure in my upper body, like I’m walking around with a constant compression in the chest. Some days it’s not something I notice, but today, it was. And it felt very, very strong.

Definitely it is part of the “cv-19” scenario that’s still going around out there. Partly it’s continually seeing drone-sheep-slave-like behavior from so many, on a daily basis. Definitely it is partly the not knowing what people-businesses-etc. will say about my not “obediently” wearing “the mask”… continually, the feeling of “I have to be alert and on the defense” about being in my Sovereignty, and in my Freedom to BE me.

“I want out”, is what the (small) inner voice says. “I don’t know what to do”, is what the inner voice says. “I want to leave this center of Turtle Island place and give it to someone who wants to live in a cold-as-he// location”, is what the inner voice says. “I want to go back to the very simple way I was living on the Big Island”, is what the inner voice says.

I know I’ll get through it. But I’m not “liking it” right now.

The blog is more and more often feeling like a burden. Posting on it, posting onto seven social media sites, and doing this day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day…

…that’s how it feels.

And it feels like I’m “tired and alone with nowhere to go”.

There is a way out of this, I know. I’m just waiting for the Universe to show it to me.

For the time, I still know that I’m meant to hold the space right here, for right now. So that is what I will do.

Aloha, Kp

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